As I stated yesterday I did not have the most pleasant Airport trip from San Diego to Hartford. However I think someone had it a little bit worse than me.
Now as every guy knows the first thing you do when walking into an aircraft is scan the plane for hot chicks. You try and find the girls traveling alone so you can have a "companion"/mile high failed attempt while you're traveling. As usual I was the last person to enter the plane so I was able to scale all the hot girls, and sexy flight attendants on board. Being a flight attendant adds 1.5 pts to your hotness. So if you're a 7 you become an 8.5. Fuckin Fact.
Upon scanning I noticed One girl who was the cream of the crop, and she had an open seat next to her. However when I looked at my seat number I noticed all 3 of my seats were open. What a dilemma! Do I sit down in a crammed row of three next to this hot chick or do I have an entire row to myself? I decided that no girl was hot enough to overtake the mystical almost unicorn like row of open seats. I was the farthest row in the back.
Throughout the flight the girl I had my eye on kept walking back to my end and going to the bathroom. I knew she had to be checking me out....why else would she be coming back here so much, especially because we were hitting some turbulence. I struck up a little conversation, but not too much she would usually B-Line it to the bathroom.
On about her 6th walk back from the Bathroom to her seat I put down my book to check out her ass again. That's when I saw the girl of my airplane dreams FACE PLANT in the aisle. Not only did she face plant she smashed her face on the armrest of a few chairs and the drink cart was approaching like Denzel's train in "Unstoppable." That's when The Horror struck me. An unusual smell came from this dime piece, who was now spread out on the floor like she had been punched by Mike Tyson.
I got out of my seat and ran to help when I realized what that distinct smell was. The Smoke had shit her pants. I didn't know what to do. This was the girl of my airport dreams for Christ's sake. How could I ever look at her the same? Could I pretend it never happened? I had so many thoughts running through my mind as her limp shit infested body was being dragged to the back of the plane like Bernie Lomax. I knew one thing for sure though. I dodged a goddman bullet.
However the main conundrum I ran into was if she was still bangable. I mean a quick shower and pretend it never happened right? When she came to they had to change her clothes, and being at the back of the plane you know I tried to sneak a peak.
I guess what I really learned is hot girls can pretty much do whatever they want and no matter what guys will still want to bang them. I mean the vision of this girl shitting her pants and face planting off chairs like a pinball still gives me a fear/pity boner. I know I'm not alone. I wish I could say no after seeing what I saw, but her hotness trumps everything. She may be a literal steaming pile of shit, but awwww look at that face.
What do you think damaged goods, or fuck it who cares I'll bang her all day and twice on Sunday?
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