In just a few short months Eddie Lacy had turned himself from a chiseled chocolate Greek God into the chick from BridesMaids that shits in the sink. How the hell can someone get this fat this quickly? Just a few months earlier he was running all over Notre Dame and their fake girlfriends for a National Title at Alabama. He was rated the best running back in the draft but fell out of the 1st or 2nd round. Did teams see his fat ass coming from a mile a way? Did the Hubbel Telescope pick him up while he was revolving around earth? 3 months later Eddie Lacy was rolled into training camp.
He was known for running downhill, but now he'll be known for running with Diabetes. I mean seriously, who signs a multi million dollar contract to be in the NFL and then decides to eat at Bo Jangles, Crystals, and Golden Coral in Alabama every night until they are so fat they are nearly unrecognizable. Rumor has it that he would take down entire buffet lines like an Anaconda at Golden Coral, literally just open his mouth and engulf entire sections by slithering his body around it. He bounced off people like a bowling ball at Alabama and now he really was a bowling bowl, and when you relate anything a person does to bowling you know that person hit rock bottom.
When I saw Eddie The Tub of Lard Lacy running all over the Cowboys last night I could not believe my eyes. What I could believe is Tony Romo throwing multiple picks late in the 4th quarter to blow the game. I mean c'mon, this guy has to be betting against himself right? Even when the Cowboys were up 5 with 2:20 left to go in the game people across the nation knew that the CowGirls would blow the game thanks to Romo. Even Eddie Lacy's fat ass knew it was going to happen. The Shapeshifter just pounded it down their throat to win the game, and left just a little time for Tony Romo to throw another pick. Lacy hasn't seen his dick in over a year, but still had the wherewithal to let Tony embarrass himself. Those are intangibles you just can't teach.
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