Wednesday, October 15, 2014

My Hollywood Ending for Sons of Anarchy


Remember when Gemma got raped by those Nazis?  Ahhh those were the days.  I'm really starting to hate her more than any other character in the history of television...Even Skylar White.  I hope Gemma catches Chucky masturbating and he ends up strangling her to death with his plastic hands.

After which Jax is riding from Gemma's grave to Tara's grave when his clutch gets stuck sending him torpedoing face first into Tara's tombstone.  Jax hits the grave sight with so much force his SOA rings , which he likes to leave on tombstones, are lodged into his eye sockets and Tara's body nearly surfaces back above ground.  Tara's body is then dug up by an amateur metal detector patron.  The man was receiving heavy silver reading over the grave which turned out to be a Giant barbecue fork still lodged in Tara's head.      

Tig ends up riding by the Cemetary massacre on his way back from Gemma's ceremony and kills the Metal Detector for what he's done.  However he can't control himself, screws Tara's dead body, catches Ebola and dies.  Chibs lives happily ever after with the Cop but still has to pay her for sex, and Juice hangs himself.  Third times the charm.  

P.S--Clay's been alive the whole time and in a shocking turn of events is living with John Teller in a Chateau in Ireland.  In a miraculous story of the body's will to live, John Teller survived the truck crash even after breaking every bone in his body.  His bike exploded and he was welded to the bottom of a truck for 16 years living off roadkill, insects, and rain water.  He was finally dislodged on a speed bump and rushed to the hospital.  After having all of his limbs removed he reunited with Clay and became Clay's favorite "Spinner".  JT and Clay shared a bond stronger than most due to the hatred of that Queef Gemma.  Bobby dies of obesity and Nero is deported while vacationing in Arizona.  

P.P.S--Opie's wife continues to get filled.  She can get it.  Also, turns out Abel was retarded all along, the viewers were right.   

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